The Question Haunting Every Indian Household
Why are today’s women and girls hesitant to marry? Even with intense pressure from parents and relatives, many are unwilling to commit. The common questions floating around are: Is it because of feminism? Is it their financial independence? Do they simply no longer need the help of men?
The reality is complex, but the answer is clear: the responsibility lies with society itself, fueled by the distressing events unfolding around us.
The Shadow of Societal Reality
Every day, the newspapers, news channels, and social media feeds are saturated with examples of domestic violence, dowry-related harassment, and abuse.
A common reaction from the older generation is often, “This was never a problem before. We never heard of this, and the women in our family never had such issues.”
However, we must understand this truth: Women have faced problems in every era and every country. The only difference is that, previously, they suffered in silence, unable to speak out due to various societal constraints.
The Failure of Sufferance
Today’s young women are sharing their problems with parents and others. The traditional advice often given is, “You must suffer (be patient) like the earth; everything will be fine after some time.”
Will it be fine? No. Most end up normalizing the abuse and pain. Many young women commit suicide after marriage. A large percentage continues to endure hardship out of sheer necessity, often staying quiet primarily for the sake of their children.
This grim reality is trending on social media, where married women are frequently asked: “Is it better to get married or to stay single?” The overwhelming majority advises, “Do not get married.” This is born directly from their personal experience.
When a girl grows up witnessing the suffering of her own mother, it is hardly surprising that she shows little interest in getting married herself.
The Cultural Shift in Kerala
The statistics confirm this trend: Marriage rates in Kerala are sharply falling. Furthermore, divorce petitions have increased by an alarming 40% since 2016.
Kerala has historically championed women’s status, especially compared to other Indian states. This is evident in the female literacy rate, which stood at 92% according to the 2011 census—a number that is certainly higher now.
Education, Independence, and New Goals
As women became educated, they started taking on roles previously reserved for men. Their lifestyles and thinking have changed dramatically.
- They travel alone.
- They start businesses.
- They join the workforce in increasing numbers.
When faced with challenging circumstances, they are choosing to live alone. Given that Kerala is relatively advanced in terms of women’s safety compared to other states, living independently is less difficult—begging the question, why need a partner?
The Data Behind the Hesitation
The shift is visible online. Since 2018, the number of female profiles on matrimonial websites has reportedly dropped by 57%. In an era where individuals prioritize personal freedom over marriage, the decision to remain single is gaining traction.
Life is short. Why should it be wasted by being trapped in an unhappy arrangement?
Recent reports suggest that women can lead a happy life even without marrying or having a life partner. While the circumstances around them might impact their mental health, the current generation is prioritizing their emotional well-being and standing by their personal decisions. Analysts predict that by 2030, at least half of the women in this generation may choose not to marry.
Cities like Kochi (Ernakulam) and Thiruvananthapuram see the highest number of divorces. This is attributed to the high education levels, changing attitudes of both women and their parents, and increased job opportunities available in urban centers. Factors like educational disparity, dowry, and social media usage are also influencing the decision to avoid marriage. Increasingly, parents are no longer forcing their daughters into marriage.
Conclusion
The reluctance of women to marry is not a social disease, but rather a cultural resistance for freedom and a deep-seated desire to live in peace.
Higher education, financial independence, and a greater awareness of domestic violence are accelerating this trend, empowering women to redefine their life goals and choose a path less burdened by traditional expectations.